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BATMAN VILLAINS PHOTO GALLERY #04 |
Updated: May 22, 2022
Batman Villains:
(The Joker)
The Joker, depending on who's writing him, has two modes: the
"murderous clown genius" mode, where he's Batman's deadliest and
most wily arch-foe, or the "Rip Taylor unchained" mode, where he's
basically a lawless prop comic. The latter is typified by Caesar
Romero's Joker in the old TV series, who once tied Batman to the
inside of a giant coffee pot in order to kill him. An interesting
metaphor for many people's lives to be sure, but an ineffective
deathtrap. Yeah, the more sinister versions of the Joker don't end
up killing Batman either, but at least in those he takes out some
innocent bystanders.
(Two-Face)
I'd think you could defeat this guy by just playing up the
indecision. "Do you want to hold that axe left-handed or
right-handed before you kill me with it? Do you want to use an
overhead swing, or a side-swing? Do you want to start hacking at my
extremities, or shall we just lop off my head and get on with
things? Heads or tails, bucko?" After a while he's so exhausted from
coin-flipping that he has to go lie down on either the bed or sofa,
and you're home free. Another public service announcement from your
friends at the Brunching Shuttlecocks.
(The Penguin)
Hmm. Short, slow, harmless, vaguely comical. Did The Penguin choose
his name at random or does he have some real bad-guy self-esteem
issues to work out? At any rate, The Penguin started out as a chubby
guy in a dumb suit with a pointy nose, and he's pretty much stayed
there despite all Burton-inspired attempts to hip him up. I mean,
umbrellas? Please.
(Clayface)
Dumb name, cool villain. This was an evil guy made of clay who could
sculpt himself into anything, the better to pound the Caped Crusader
into spandex-clad bodily humors. Clayface hasn't made it into the
movies yet. One would presume that this is partly due to cost --
it's cheaper to slap Arnold into a plastic suit than it is to create
a morphing clay guy -- and partly due to the fact that it's hard to
sell a movie using a big star when the star in question is obscured
by fifty pounds of clay. "Look! It's Sylvester Stallone! Or Michael
Jordan! Or possibly Cheech Marin!"
(Catwoman)
You know, I've just never gotten into the homina-homina thing that
Catwoman seems to inspire in so many, not the least of whom is
Batman himself. I think I could create a much more stable and
rational long-term relationship with, say, Xena. The meow, hiss,
claw, whip, steal, flip, form-fitting black Bad-Guy-Au-Go-Go
bodysuit routine just doesn't do it for me. Now, Linda Carter as
Wonder Woman, there's someone who can violate my Comics Code
Authority anytime.
(The Riddler)
Okay, I've got it figured out. I'm going to call myself "The
Non-Riddler," and I'm going to do everything the Riddler would do,
but I'm not going to give out any darn riddles. Judging from the
fact that it's the Riddler's own clues that inevitably give him
away, I figure this is going to leave the Dynamic Duo sitting in the
Batcave playing Freecell on the Bat-computer while I'm out
crime-spreeing. I can retire after a couple weeks of this, and
Batman can go back to defeating villains who provide four-color
pamphlets detailing their upcoming capers.
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